Is that special someone in your life looking for a new opportunity in their life or to pursue exciting new career opportunities? Do they excel at being really good looking? Or at being really, really ridiculously good looking? Then we have the school for you! Run by former male super model Derek Zoolander, the Derek Zoolander Center for Kids Who Can’t Read Good and Who Wanna Learn to Do Other Stuff Good Too is a school where we teach students of all ages everything they need to know to learn to be a professional model, and a professional human being. We’ll show them how to dress cool, and wear their hair in interesting ways, cultivate their look, and to be the best abidigital they can be! Our diverse faculty includes business management teacher and former model agent Maury Ballstein, and professional friend and life coach, Hansel, and our building has been LEED certified to be big enough for children to fit inside the building. So come on down to the Derek Zoolander Center and grab an Orange Mocha Frappucino in our drink bar, listen in on story hour with Derek, or get a free lesson in base jumping from Hansel. And feel free to wander through our incredible sculpture garden, featuring original fountain pieces. At the completion of your education, you’ll receive a diploma with your very own name on it from the accredited Derek Zoolander Center for Kids Who Can’t Read Good and Who Wanna Learn to Do Other Stuff Good Too. Don’t wait – start your edumacation today! (Please indicate the name you want on the diploma and allow 3-5 business days to ship your item – our proud graduates need time to decipher your address and send it good! Ships without frame.)
